I let out a sorrowful sigh.
Do I miss the freedom of being a kid?
Am I regretting something that I did?
Am I just sore from so much work?
Why does my heart full of murk?
…..??
----
The lunch bell rings.
Everybody unites with their people.
But who do I go to?
Do I go to the spirited youth?
The cultured artistes?
The libertine partiers?
The austere studiers?
I know who my acquaintances are
(do I ever have a lot of those)
but where are my friends? My people?
Who do I go to?
No one,
there is no one for me.
I reach out for nobody,
for nothing.
I don’t have the blessing of life-long friends,
loves that have been nourished for a lifetime.
But it’s okay. It gives me more time to reflect, right?
They go out there and create memories,
they connect, hug, and smile.
They’re so absorbed in the moment,
so captured by emotion that they don’t
have time to reflect on life - they’re just
living.
They’re out there… and I’m in here…
I’m in here and I create fantasies,
I’m isolated, detached and poignantly sad…
so absorbed in introspection that I don’t
have time to live my life - I’m just…
decaying?
----
When I look at me,
I look at my enemy.
When I’ve been struck by Ignorance’s blows,
remind me I alone am the cause of my woes.
That is my privilege and my pain.
Whenever I am under the throes of guilt,
remind me I alone can undo what I’ve built.
I refuse to dwell in sorrow;
I’ll create my fulfilling tomorrow.
Somewhere, there are people out there for me.
Wow Dylan ..love your courage to be vulnerable. ..to experience and express these feelings as you do, is a gift. There is recognition and relief in the reading . I admire your resolve to experience otherwise tomorrow (if not sooner ,Eh!) and I have every confidence you will create something entertaining , uplifting and will yourself be uplifted...you've done so much in your young life already! Can't wait to hear/see more of you. You are an amazing being who I think will always find your balance of youth and maturity..namaste
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! :)
DeleteHey guys, if you liked this poem you might be interested to know that I used parts of it in the first-part of a three part story that will be fully uploaded by the end of the month. The first part of it is here: http://theadventuresofdylan.blogspot.ca/2015/01/the-consciousness-of-matthew-part-i.html
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