"This too shall pass"
- Persian Proverb
I heard a story from a friend once about this deceptively simple quote. A king went to a wise man. He said that he felt ill, that his fortunes were failing, and that his wife was angry with him. The wise man said to return to him in three days. When the King returned, he discovered that the wise man had made him a ring. On the ring was written: "This too shall pass". The wise man told him that whenever in life he feels attached to a pleasure or worried about a pain to look at the ring, because all conditions are only temporary. It is useless worry about their arising and dissolving.
Perhaps we would all benefit from such a ring! I admit that, personally, it is easier for me to reflect on the impermanence of all things when I am upset, ill, hurt, etc than when I am happy. When I am in a negative situation this quote reminds me that eventually, like all things, they will disintegrate. When we are happy this quote, too, can serve as a reminder. When we're un-attached to the things that give us enjoyment we enjoy them even more, because we appreciate them more and also because we are fully present to the positivity that is happening. When we are aware that life is always changing we let the negatives in our life just happen and we consume even more of the positive since we know that no condition ever lasts (except for change itself).
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Denying ourselves is not about torturing ourselves. It isn't about hating life, or thinking that doing what we want bad. Denying ourselves is about willpower and freedom. We desire so badly and so much that we think that are desires are us. This becomes a tragedy when our desires are of the self-destructive kind. The truth is that self-denial will make us happier.
In order to develop the power to do what we want to do we have to develop the power to not do what we don't want to do. Won't-power must come before Will-power. Denying yourself of unhealthy foods when you're palate is inflamed with desire at the sight or mention of them will make you healthier and stronger. Eating healthier instead will make you happier, live longer, and give you more energy to do whatever you wish.
Want is a flame, and wisdom is the water that puts it out. Wisdom told me that I should live simpler and eat healthier.
Believe it or not, but that flame of want can eventually be put out altogether. One day I decided to give up eating most fast-food, pops, salty snacks like chips, and an assortment of candies. For the first weeks, give or take, it was truly difficult. But after that brief period I felt the desire for those things simply vanish from me altogether. At the sight of those foods hunger would never be stirred up. Sometimes there would be disgust, but most of the time it was a neutral feeling. Eating chips made about as much sense to me as eating paper. I discovered that Want can be not only resisted, it can be defeated. What is left in our minds when we get rid of so many pointless wants? Peace. The peace that comes from abiding in our own being without being attacked by so many wants. What else? Freedom. The freedom that comes from being free from something. What else? Power, the power that comes from self-mastery and feeling like the master of your own destiny.
I promise that the above is true for anyone who wishes to attempt a similar endeavour.
- Mahatma Ghandi
This is one of the most positively transformative sentences in the entire english language. But we see this quote plastered around so much that we have become numb to it. This is seriously unfortunate, because the meaning of this phrase is one that people urgently need to hear. I myself realized the truth of this quote in reverse.
When I was 16 I had accidentally turned into the kind of person I simply didn't want to be. I was suffering greatly, and this made me want to retreat into self-destructive pleasures that would give me a few seconds relief from my internal pain. This only caused more problems, which in turn made me retreat even more. You can see the vicious cycle beginning.
I didn't want to own up to the simple realities that in this life we must serve others and not just ourselves. I genuinely believed that if only I could serve me and my own wants a little more, I would be happier. I didn't want to acknowledge that in this life we do not have an eternity to just waste time. I wanted to think that time wasn't precious. I wanted to hide from the fact that I had to grow up.
Ignorance, as it happens, is most certainly not bliss. Ignorance is the purest expression of pain. It is bad enough to be suffering, it is even worse to not know why, and it is worst of all to think that the suffering we are experiencing is actually good. Without even knowing it my arch-nemesis had become the habits that my ignorance had created.
But something - The Universe, God, Karma, - whatever - had given me some clarity. I started to believe that discipline would make me happier than indulgence. I understood that I should actually start to take my life seriously. So I began working hard on annihilating my bad habits, one day at a time. I abandoned the lands of intoxication for the lands of clarity, I forsook the caverns of pornography and jacking off for the plains of purity.
I learned a lot about myself by changing myself. I learned a lot about the world by being fed up with it.
I learned that I actually liked to work hard. I loved the feeling of accomplishment that came after hard self-denial. I began to understand that many males my age are not nearly as motivated as they should be, and I know why. Philip Zimbardo couldn't possibly be more correct when he said that internet pornography is one of the biggest obstacles facing young guys today. Expressing the truth that pornography is harmful and that men shouldn't masturbate hasn't made me popular, but it has made me feel good. Because I'm doing the right thing.
I learned that the subtle joys of peace were much better than the extreme thrills of pleasure. I fell in love with hearing the wind hitting the trees and seeing the air make the trees move, as though the wind was a handsome musician trying to court the leaves who dance and sing when he plays his smooth tune. I stopped using my cellphone altogether (haven't sent a single text since I was 16 years old!) and cut a lot of internet time to just sit down and meditate on the breath instead.
I saw that when I was with people they would never take nearly as much time appreciating their surroundings as I did. Their minds were too revved up from being on cellphones all day, or trying to juggle 10 million things and thoughts. The sight of the water in a pond would send me in awe and others would never even think to notice.
I understood that our society places too much value on business and busy-ness and not enough of being-ness.
These realizations filled me with sorrow. I thought, what am I, being only one person, capable of doing to help people realize the value of peace and purity? Then I realized that the only way to do it is to be an example.
The reason why Ghandi's quote is so powerful is because Ghandi exemplified his famous phrase with every fibre of his being. Instead of complaining about violence in society he became truly non-violent and compassionate. Instead of complaining about the lack of spiritual values in his society he became a saint. Thus lighting the path for others. Actions have more force than words, and words are always so much powerful when they have actions to back them up. Together - Words and Actions - they make a lethal team against ignorance in this world.
To put this quote in practice, make a list of things that bother you about the world. Then see what you yourself are doing to contribute to those problems, and what you can do to stop doing them. It sounds easy but is actually one of the most difficult things anyone could ever undertake - in fact, it is the journey of a lifetime.
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